User blog:The Nameless Lancer/The Lancer’s Fanfiction Reviews - The Hunt Returns
Warning: When talking about chapter 3, I say somethings that might be controversial. Just remember that I’m speaking my own honest opinion, so please don’t take anything I say personally. Plague’s latest story, “The Hunt Returns”, is an extremely weak fanfiction. It’s his weakest story since “Shadow Over Yharnam Part 2”, and we can all agree that it doesn’t come close to deserving a performance score. The story just does too many things wrong, and not enough right. I can describe this story with a sentence: “Wait, what?”. This story has many parts that just come out of nowhere with absolutely no explanation whatsoever. I’d love to know what the fucking point is, but I can’t. Trying to find the answers to the questions that I have is like trying to find who shot Biggie and Pac. It’s not possible. That’s a pretty big flaw with this story. Another big problem is with the villain. Akexander Gascoigne is.... hey. Wait just one fucking second. “Alexander Gascoigne”. Isn’t “Gascoigne” Father Gascoigne’s first name? I’m pretty sure it is. Anyway, Alexander isn’t a very convincing villain. He does some asshole-ish things, but they’re almost all justified, honestly. Except for one thing in chapter 4. That was just uncalled for. We’ll get to that in a little bit. I just don’t think that he’s a very good villain. Another flaw with this story is that the characters are as interesting as outer space. I don’t like the new characters in this story. It’s like reading Luna’s story again. Not a single character is likeable or dislikeable. They’re just there. Well, at least Van fucking Helsing doesn’t appear that much, so I can have a break from that annoying mother fucker. (Plague, it’s just a joke. He is annoying, though) Initially, I fucking hated this story. I was like, “What the fuck is this shit? How could Plague go from ‘Blood in the Dark’, which was his best story and an absolute masterpiece, to this?” I thought that it was boring (which it really is), had nothing to make it unique, and was terribly written. Then Plague disappeared for that long ass time after publishing chapter 3, so I reread the story 5 times, and it grew on me a good bit. It’s kind of like that Metallica album St. Anger. It starts off pretty good, but quickly turns shitty, but grows on you faster than lightning. I guess I can call this story “St. Plague”. That was bad, I know. This is going to be a much longer review because, in order to say everything that I need to say, I’m going to have to describe everything that’s happening. I wonder what that says about this story..... Prologue - Return of the Beasts: 6.3/10 While this prologue isn’t bad, I think that it’s kind of out of place. I don’t really see how this is supposed to fit into the story. In the prologue, Plague and Harold are in the Forbidden Woods hunting a Darkbeast. Which brings me to the first of many questions that I have: Why is Harold hunting beasts? He’s a soldier, not a hunter. Whatever. Plague turns to their comrades, and tells them what they’re up against. They all split up, and start looking around. Plague and Harold have a conversation about family, and then the beasts arrive. A fight happens, our heroes prevail, and the day is saved once again. Then it fast forwards 20 years, which makes me wonder what the point of the previous part of the chapter was. Some new people find traces of the beasts returning, and that’s really about it. Overall, not a bad chapter, but we’d all be absolutely fine if it didn’t exist. Chapter 1 - James’s Will: 3/10 James’s full name is “James Willaim Anderson”. That’s fucking hilarious. In this very weak chapter, Eleanor and Helsing read, what else, James’s Last Will and Testament. It states something about gifts for certain people, and that Eleanor can have the house. Helsing then leaves to go find Harold, which he never does because he doesn’t know where to fuckin’ look. Don’t come back, you window-breaking fuck. Sorry, but I couldn’t resist that. Eleanor goes into James’s bedroom, and talks to the Plague from another dimension. Wait, why’s he still there? He doesn’t need to be there, but whatever. At a tavern in Yharnam, Discount Old Hunter Henryk enters, and attracts everyone’s attention due to his yellow outfit. He sits down next to Alexander Gascoigne, and they talk about the beasts returning, and starting a hunt. Henry says something about doing something quietly, but Alexander wants it to be a public affair, and that his endgame is anarchy. Issue number 1 with this chapter: Nothing is happening. Plague, you’ve made too many expositional chapters, and this one is nothing special. It doesn’t have very many redeeming qualities that make it stand out. Issue 2: The chapter is really short. Well, almost all of Plague’s chapters are short, but this one feels shorter. Issue 3: James’s last name is “Anderson”. Mr. Anderson! Overall, this chapter doesn’t really have anything going for it. Chapter 2 - The New Hunters: 5/10 This is another very weak chapter. At least it’s slightly better than the previous chapter. Eleanor goes to Mensis’s domain, and finds out that he’s condemned Zhukov to eternal suffering. She thanks him for giving her the bell that allowed her to be reunited with her father. She leaves, and goes back to her house. Plague and Helsing are fighting, and Eleanor makes them break it up. She goes out onto the porch, and is greeted by John. He tells her that the wannabe Henryk wants everyone to go see the new hunter thing that’s going on. Her and Jackie Boy go there, and Alexander Gascoigne gives an extremely mediocre speech. The New Hunters bring out some captive beasts, and put them down. Eleanor and Jack leave, and Alexander notices them in the crowd, and asks Henry about Plague being dead. He then tells Henry to “attain” them. Why? That doesn’t make any sense. There’s no reason for them to want to abduct two random people. It doesn’t make sense. Plague, you’re a good writer, but this story is so damn lazy. Overall, this chapter is just bad. Chapter 3 - Alexander’s Deal: 8.3/10 This is one of the only chapters that I like in this sorry excuse for a story. I’m sorry if that sounds negative, but this story is just disappointing. This chapter is good, though. Unfortunately, it has the same flaw of plot holes that this entire fucking story has. It starts off with Eleanor and Jack returning to her house, and she complains about the hunting methods used by the New Hunters. Um, I’m pretty sure that Hunters are allowed to use any means necessary, you little twat. Don’t get butt hurt by the Hunters’ lack of morality. Sorry, again, but it’s fucking true. Then, after this conversation, the stupidest thing ever happens. Men jump through the windows, and attack Eleanor and Jack. (Aggravated sigh) This story is really stupid at times like this. Why are the bad guys doing this? What’s the point? They throw a bucket of water on their victims, hit them with a Tonitrus, and they pass out. That’s, uh... alright then. They wake up in Alexander’s mansion. John greets Eleanor, and she threatens to rip his cock off with her bare hands. That’s super aggressive, Eleanor. Don’t be like that. Alexander comes in, and he’s carrying a Silencing Blank. Jack wakes up, and attacks Alexander, who fires his silencing blank. Jack disappears, so... goodbye, Jackie? Anyway, Eleanor kicks Alexander, and he back-hands her in the face, and calls her a “stupid bitch”. 1. That was too fucking funny. I know that probably makes me an asshole, but the way Plague wrote it makes it impossible to take seriously. I was in computer science class when reading this the first time, and I randomly burst out laughing, which was weird for everyone else in my class. 2. I know that we’re probably supposed to dislike Alexander for that, but I don’t think he did anything wrong. I mean, she kicked him in the gut, so he’s allowed to hit her back. Moving on, he picks her up by the neck, threatens her, says that if Harold can’t stop him (which is something that he’s wrong about) then she can’t stop him, and drops her to the ground. He says that he wants her to find where the beasts are coming from. Why? He has an army, so he doesn’t need her help. This. Doesn’t. Make. SENSE! She accepts, and Alexander leaves. Overall, while this chapter is pretty good, it’s still far from being passable. Plague, how did you fuck this story up this badly? I don’t get it. Chapter 4 - Following the Scent/Lair of Beasts: 5/10 Boring. This chapter is extremely boring. It’s two chapters in one, but it’s still short. I don’t even have to descibe anything in order to say what’s wrong with this chapter. It’s almost nothing but fighting. That’s stupid. There’s nothing redeeming about that. I don’t enjoy reading chapters like this. The ending is the only part that’s interesting. Alexander is disguised as Van Helsing, and Eleanor is blind and doesn’t notice the change in height and eye color. Her and John kill a Blood-starved Beast, and she kisses John. And... they met each other earlier that day. Alexander kills John for some fucking reason, and reveals himself. Sounds like a great twist, right? Wrong! Plague fucked it up. He shouldn’t have given a massive warning that that’s not the real Van Helsing. That ruins the surprise of the whole thing. Overall, Plague wasted a potentially amazing twist. Chapter 5 - Alone in the Dark/Purgatory: 9/10 This is the best chapter in the story. That’s not saying much considering the quality of this story, but it’s something. This chapter is actually pretty good. Eleanor gets killed by Henry using the Holy Shitlight Sword’s attack that only Ludwig has, and she meets James in purgatory. They talk, she leaves, meets Mensis, and she comes back to life. She gets a special bowblade from Mensis, and that’s about it. It’s a good chapter, but I don’t have much to say about it. Compared to the rest of this story, this chapter is pretty good. Epilogue - The Coming Battle: 4/10 Nothing to say here. Move along. This epilogue has nothing going for it, so I’m not going to waste my time by talking about it. Pros *Chapter 5. *Decent attempt at trying something new. Cons *Terrible in almost every way. *TOO MANY PLOT HOLES! *Wait, there’s a villain in this story? *Out of place prologue. *Chapter 4 is boring. *Plague ruined the twist in chapter 4. *So-so epilogue. Verdict This story is better than “Shadow Over Yharnam Part 2”, which means nothing because of how shitty that story was. “The Hunt Returns” gets a 7.1/10. Sorry, Plague, but you really fucked this story up. Category:Blog posts